When Hobbies Feel Like A Burden: How to Adjust
There was a time in my life when I went to the gym to lift weights four times a week, often for two to three hours at a time. When I started my internship year for grad school, I slowly fell out of that routine and felt so stressed about it. I kept thinking, "Why can't I just push through? I've done this before, so why is it suddenly so hard?" After months of inconsistency, frustration, and shame, I finally brought it up in therapy.
My therapist looked at me and compassionately said, "Of course you don't have time to keep up with this habit anymore."
I had added 25 hours of unpaid internship work to an already busy schedule that included graduate school, a full-time job, and trying to maintain a healthy social and personal life. Not to mention the emotional toll of wearing so many different hats: student, wife, daughter, friend, sister-in-law, employee, business owner, and more.
When we experience big life transitions—going back to school, becoming a parent, changing jobs, getting married, caring for aging parents—we often underestimate how much those transitions ask of us. We see the new title of Mom, CEO, or Student, but we don't always acknowledge the emotional, mental, and physical energy it takes to step into something new. Then we wonder why the habits that once felt easy suddenly feel impossible, or the hobbies we once enjoyed seem exhausting.
I share this because it's worth evaluating your current habits and hobbies and asking yourself a few honest questions:
- Is this habit draining me or restoring me?
- What are my goals and values right now?
- Have they shifted over the past few months?
Based on your answers, consider what might need to change. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do isn't trying harder, it's letting go of habits that no longer fit your current season.
I used to lift four times a week, and I can't do that anymore. But I can walk for an hour several times a week. I can still make it to the gym occasionally. That allows me to continue pursuing my goal of being active and healthy without exhausting myself trying to maintain a routine that no longer fits my life.
There's no shame in recognizing that your capacity has changed.
Just because you're choosing to reprioritize and let go of certain habits or hobbies doesn't mean you can't do them. It simply means you love yourself enough to be honest about how those habits are serving you in this season of life.
When we understand the purpose of our habits and hobbies—to regulate our nervous systems, give us time to ourselves, and help us care for both ourselves and the people around us—we're free to adjust them as our lives change, without shaming ourselves in the process.
Life is made up of seasons, and our capacity changes with them. Rather than measuring yourself against who you used to be, give yourself permission to respond honestly to where you are today.
If you're finding it difficult to navigate a season of transition or struggling to extend yourself that kind of grace, therapy can provide a space to process those changes and move forward with greater clarity and self-compassion.
If you're looking for support as you adjust to a new season, connect with the team at Anchored Mind. We'd be honored to walk alongside you.
