Boundaries
BOUNDARIES. Not everyone subscribes to the golden rule of treating others the way they want to be treated. This can be especially difficult in the context of close family and friends. We tend to show the best and worst of ourselves with the people we are most comfortable with. On top of that, we have so many individual differences that shape our perspective, expectations, emotions and behavior.
The holiday season is a prime time to revisit how we navigate boundaries. Without prior experience, it can be difficult to know where to start. Let's begin with defining what boundaries are: LIMITS THAT WE SET FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS. They can be social, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and any other category that requires a sense of safety.
How do you know if you need to establish boundaries? If you feel persistent negative emotions, such as resentment, exhaustion, overwhelmed, disappointed, stressed or anxious... if you worry about relationships losing trust, respect or sense of connection... and especially if you determine a high risk of relational conflict or physical threat.
What if other people do not agree or resist our boundaries? You will likely encounter some hurdles in the beginning, but commit to consistency. Determine which limits need to be communicated overtly, while others may be more discreet. For example: "I prefer not to discuss politics" or simply excuse yourself from the conversation. Let's look at some examples:
PRE-GAME
adequate sleep, healthy food, proper hydration
resistance or cardiovascular exercise
deep breathing or prayer
prepare with a support partner
GAME TIME
decide if you need to skip the event, limit your time or have an escape plan
determine which social topics are uncomfortable for you
respectfully opt out from certain foods or beverages
politely seek space & silence if you need a break
give yourself permission to say "no" without a defense or debate
speaker formula: "I feel [emotion] about [subject] and need [positive request]"
try to be flexible in honor of relationships
#anchoredmind #counseling #therapy #mentalhealth #family #holidays #boundaries #limits #needs #selfcare #relationships
